My problem

All along I've been struggling with this problem. It dated back to years ago and even till date.. I've never truly overcome or conquer this..

TRUST.

reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

This explains I'm totally lacking of all these. Sometimes, i blame it on the history of my dad.. as you all might know, he cheated on my mum 3 TIMES. and iy was on the 3rd time,  that my mum decided that enough is enough and gave up on this marriage. Ever since then,  life has never been the same.

How can someone who said the vow, do such cruel thing? That leap of faith.. when i said i do .. and giving her everything but in return was just got her heart broken?

I know god makes man flesh weak but can it really be overcome with willpower? This is questionable and i always doubt the answer.  Trust ain't that easy for me. I really know i should.. and im trying my best.

Thank god for fiance never ending understanding and assurance on my feeling. For you, im really trying.. to be a better one.

That fine line... I'm walking on it cautiously.