I have been wanting to start writing every little details of my life so that the next time i would remember how on earth i surpass uni life. But i always fail to.
Ever since i entered into NUS, life becomes hectic and stress. And i believe during these short period of 2 years, the amount of tears i shed is way beyond the times when i was a infant. At times, i still can't believe i am in NUS. I'm not a very smart person and being a lazy one worsen things. The only proud moments i had was probably during my PSLE and O levels. I could feel hard work paid off. Having into uni, there ain't any moment that i felt great about myself. And i just cant wait to graduate! BADLY!
After spending almost a quarter century on this earth, i still have no idea of where i'm heading to. I am unsure whether i will be an engineer? I have no dream. I felt i'm useless and some times just feel like hiding away. I am a good for nothing. And i really suck.
I dont know why am i even ranting on this blog post for? trying to get sympathy? I hate growing up because you're subjected to making decision for your own life. And face the consequences YOURSELF.
I may look good in front of everyone but deep down i know... I'm the lousiest person in this world.I know i shouldnt be negative but i can't help it.
I need to find the drive to see me through. INEEDTOBEHAPPYONMYOWN and not depending on others' joy. It's been too long i really felt genuinely happy from the inside. And to those that care, please dont be mistaken that i'm not happy when i'm with you. It's just that... i need to find myself to be happy. Do you get me?
i guess is gonna be time of the month sooon.. all these feelings hitting me hard again and with all the deadlines.. i just need a space to rant.
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